31 reflections on turning 31
I turned 31 on November 10, 2021, just over a month ago. As I grow older, and hopefully wiser I’ve attempted to jot down some of my learnings and reflections from over the years. There is a lot I have learned, some through my mistakes and some were just life lessons.
To be honest, I was very apprehensive of turning 31, but then I remembered how apprehensive I was of turning 25. And that worked out fine so I’m hoping this does too.
And I haven’t really written anything new in here or said something that hasn’t been spoken before. But what I have done is, spoken from my heart about the lessons that have played a role in shaping my life.
I hope you do give it a read!
1. Be Patient – Think about this for a second, - ‘Impatience stems from entitlement’. I feel you only get impatient when you think you deserve something at that very moment. No one can get ahead of time. Respect the nature of time and time will respect you. The minute you surrender to the laws of nature and accept your place in this universe, you will achieve the impossible. Just be patient.
2. Whatever you do in life, let it come from a place of compassion, knowledge, love, and justice – Compassion will always you show you the right path in life. You will never waver in your beliefs if you hold onto your principles and make way for new experiences. Merely living is not enough. Living with a guided sense of love & justice is important.
3. Take a breather – In a world where busyness is given importance, learn and value the art of taking a pause. Be it before speaking when you are angry or making an important decision. Pause and breathe and it’ll do wonders for your soul.
4. Make time for people and interests that truly matter – Go on and start swimming again. Read as many books as you want to. You know that’s what really makes you feel at peace. Carve out time for people who matter to you and to whom you matter. Everyone gets busy in life, but that does not mean you stop making time for friends & family who are actually important. In the end, that’s what we leave behind and not the materialistic stuff we chase.
5. Prioritize your health – Sounds corny, but health is wealth. You’ve had enough micro mini scares to know that being sick paralyses you and you are unable to function at full capacity. Also, the older you grow the harder it is for you to stay fit. So do not compromise on your health. And please, do not google every symptom on earth. Make time, eat, and sleep well and give more time to meditation. Be happy.
6. It’s okay to say no – You can say no to anything and anyone. It’s fine, you do not need to feel guilty. Be compassionate but firm in saying no when things, experiences or people don’t align with your values/interests/moods whatever. Just don’t carry all that extra guilt around.
7. Accept your struggles, your scars – You will be so much more beautiful and stronger because of it. Struggles have helped shape your outlook towards life, have challenged you to achieve greater heights, have made you kinder to yourself and others. Never shy away from them. It’s a part of life, not the whole life.
8. Be kind – You are your harshest critic. Be as kind to yourself as you are to everyone. Do not judge yourself harshly over your accomplishments, missed opportunities and your image. You live in your head the most, so unkind thoughts and self-deprecating behavior will not only leave scars but will allow others to treat you the same.
9. Be more open to ideas and experiences - Get out of your comfort zone and push your boundaries. It’s the best way for personal growth. You’ve already moved across continents in your early 20s. It has helped evolve your perspective, made you more compassionate and stronger. Take more chances and risks. It will either work out or it won’t, but it will be an education.
10. Meditate more – Meditation is so good for your mind, body, and soul. Just give yourself 5 minutes to meditate everyday it will set your mood for the day and eventually it’ll turn into a habit. It will reduce stress, anxiety and teach you to be more present in the moment.
11. Financial Health is super important – Money matters, whether it’s ideal or not. Its super important to be financially independent and have a proper financial plan in place. Prioritize your financial independence.
12. Some things will never make sense, find your peace in that - Not everything in life is supposed to make sense. Just be okay with it. In the end, all the puzzles will fit. But, for now let it be.
13. Please hydrate more often – Most of my health issues are attributed to my lack of drinking water. So please go less on the coffee and drink more water.
14. Learn to let stuff go – Let go of all the things and people that have held you back. Let go of negative thoughts and toxic people. It is not easy but once you start practicing this, it’ll get easier, and you will feel much lighter.
15. Network more – Build a network of strong, like-minded individuals. It will help elevate your career, provide fresh ideas, and gain more opportunities.
16. You do not need to be perfect - You do not need to be perfect at everything. It is more important to aim for excellence than to achieve it.
17. Do not be afraid to be your truly authentic self – You are not here to fit into someone’s definition of you. Be in charge of your own narrative. Just be yourself. We are each created differently with different dreams, goals, and purposes. So please do not compare yourself to others and beat yourself down over it. Respect yourself enough to not compromise on your beliefs and principles. Learn to trust your gut and intuition. You will always know what’s right for you and what is not.
18. Nothing is permanent – Just like seasons, life has its own phases. Anytime you feel like nothing is going right in your life, trust me, it will when the time is right. You’ve got this.
19. Use an organizer – A moment lost is lost forever. It helps to be organized. You will feel less overwhelmed as you navigate through life if you are more organized.
20. Be flexible with your goals - This may seem counterintuitive but as you grow and evolve so will your dreams. You cannot take the goal list you had when you were young and revolve your entire life around it. Things change and you will change, and you have changed.
21. Knowledge is sacred – I have always felt this. I’m constantly in the pursuit of increasing my knowledge, and this pursuit has helped me realize that the world is so much more than what we can even fathom.
22. Register to be an Organ Donor – Learnt this the hard way. You don’t know how many lives you will be saving. We are all souls after all having a human experience.
23. Do not stick to a definition – That negates the possibility to change or improve. Change is good, change implies you’re alive, you’re learning, and you care.
24. No one really knows everything – Everyone out here is figuring stuff out. Everyone. Do not put undue pressure on yourself to have it all together. Everything is figureoutable. Not a real word but the feeling stays.
25. There is nothing wrong with asking for what you deserve – You’ve worked really hard and will continue to do so. There is no shame in negotiating and asking for what you deserve. You are only worth as much as you think you are. Approach each challenge with vision, confidence and above all with a belief in yourself. Believe in yourself. Believe in what you can bring to the table. A lot of good comes out of blood, sweat and tears.
26. Have a fixed morning and night routine – I do have a fixed morning routine now which I’ve worked hard for that is – wake up, warm water with lemon, light stretches, quick 2 mile walk and then depending on the day a more intense workout or getting ready for work. I still don’t have a night routine. But since I’ve started my morning routines, I’ve realized I am more in control of my day and more at peace generally.
27. Not everything is about you – Do not take things personally. Everyone is coming to you with their own fears, desires, insecurities etc. Take a moment to pause and think whether the situation/words are arising for you or if it’s something personal for them.
28. Slow Down – Often you feel like you have to do everything right now and achieve everything there is possibly there to achieve. But pace yourself. Do not pressure yourself into doing everything.
29. Seize the moment – There’s an old saying Carpe Diem. I have always tried to live by this principle. Even though lately it’s been tough. Adulting doesn’t give you much of a chance to be or live in the moment or rather to seize the day. And more often than not, we fail to move ahead due to lack of courage or faith and then think of things that could’ve been. Life moves by faster than we think so make every moment count.
30. Accept the curveballs and surprises life throws at you – I know it’s difficult to not have control at times, but such is life. You don’t go through life in a linear fashion, there are bound to be some unexpected curves and obstacles. Embrace them, you will come out of it stronger and wiser. Also, nothing good comes easy to you.
31. Detox from technology – Do not look at the phone first thing in the morning. Take time to detox from phone, tv, iPad, iWatch etc. It’s supposed to be a tool to help you navigate through life, it’s not supposed to take over your life.
